One week out of chemo #3.

Well, this is notable. I realized this afternoon as I dug around in the garden that today I am completely free of any cancer related pain. It's the first time in months that I can say that.

Another kind of funny thing (funny in a painful way). At my annual visit to the GP last week we talked about the cancer dx. He asked me about pain, insomnia, and then he asked, "Are you feeling depressed?" We both laughed a bit - OF COURSE I AM!
but I also recognize that each day is too precious to sell out to depression. So screw it!
and then I just realized how in my last post I claimed to feel less sad and more angry. Ah well, chalk another one up to chemo brain.

Halfway done!

Today I had chemo #3. Same routine plus Avastin. In our conference with the doctor, he was less than enthusiastic about the Avastin, saying the the data doesn't indicate a great improvement in recurrence and no noted improvement in survival. But what I now know is that ALL the drugs are questionable as to their effectiveness for my particular, rare disease. So, I decided if the insurance was willing to pay for it, it was like adding an additional bit of buckshot to our attack on the cancer. Of course that also means more side effects to look out for, but if it proves to be too troublesome, I won't be torn up about dropping it. The doctor's office got it preapproved so Avastin is now coursing through my veins. ...along with lots of other scary drugs. More water, please.
Our friend Michiko is staying here for about one week. She really wants to help out with the after-chemo blahs that I always feel. It's going to be wonderful to have someone willing to do the cooking chores for a few days. Almost like having my sister Alicia here.
I think my general emotional health is more normal. I cry less, and usually from frustration, rather than from sadness. If I'm tired or aching, I become more depressed, but that happens seldom. It's great to be getting my own life back. Day by day as the saying goes.
I hope you all went to the facebook page and checked out the glorious wall hanging that was made by my friends and assembled by Alicia. It's a wonderful comfort to look up from my bed each morning and view it before rising. I love my support group.

Revised delivery for sicko hotline

Here's where I'm going to post from now on. That way you can check up on the life of this cancer story as you want. The next post will be sometime next week. In the meantime, I'm busy researching all the key terms I run into when I read my diagnosis reports. This is the education no one ever wanted.